Kylo Ren's Death
by MaSkizze27
Summary: TROS scene where Rey stabs Kylo Ren. Ren POV. I tried to keep as faithfull as possible to original just wanted to know how Ben felt during all that.


Ben felt it before he saw it. A sudden blazing heat tearing through skin and organs nothing like the rocket white swiftness of a blaster shot. This was agony of a different flavor. As his gaze travelled down his torso and he saw the chaotic red of his own saber melting his tunic and cooking his skin with Rey's fingers still curled tightly around the hilt. He thought he should have felt more pain but a sickening numbness spread quickly through his chest as his mind processed the situation like molasses running down a tree. As quick as the saber had skewered him the crimson light retracted into nothing and his body slumped against the forever damp bridge. _She stabbed me, _He thought more in disbelief than anything. When his hand had destroyed her one hope of destroying the Emperor he had watched her eyes filled with hatred and loathing. Eyes befitting a sith. Those eyes would have given him hope of her turning had they graced her face not even a year ago. But seeing them now, in person sent a shiver down his spine, making him wonder if he had gone too far. If he had lost what was left of their connection forever. Now as he felt his body tense fighting the blood loss and onset of shock he realized how much of those eyes truly longed to see him dead. That he had miscalculated her strength and more importantly her resolve that seethed behind her rage.

He couldn't find the strength to look at her when he felt her kneel at his side. He felt confused and bitter and most of all scared. Kylo Ren had never shown his fear to her face. He had also never known the complete defeat his body felt from her attack. All the blaster shots, force pushes and flesh wounds could not have prepared him for the wind and salt he felt blowing through him. Ben heard something then. A sob coming from Rey. She like him must have felt his mother's death he was sure. And as he had lost the last person who loved him she had lost a master and friend. The feeling of death made it hard for him to hate her in that moment even if she crying next to him was the cause of it. In part he blamed himself, for...everything. Then slowly he watched her blurry hand move out of his peripheral coming to rest on his torso. Even half dead he felt the spark that ignited from her touch, the dyad of the force happily playing between them like it did that night so many moons ago. He liked her touch he decided, and if he was going to die at least there was something not horrible about this moment. The spark turned to a sizzle which ignited in a warmth that spread through his whole body. He gasped upon its touch before it began gathering at his wound, Rey's hand pressing harder against him as he watched her breath deep and slow. Ben felt his insides curling and shifting almost unpleasantly as the pain slowly ebbed away until nothing was left except his mended skin against the cold.

Rey pulled her hand away and took the warmth with her. Ben dumbstruck could only muster wide eyes and a full breath of air as his mind worked to catch up. He looked at Rey now, his shame gone. She had thick tears running down her cheeks mixing with the spray of the ocean that had settled there. Her eyes met his sharing pain and loss and a building fear. Ben's mouth pitched shut his tongue trapped between his teeth as a flood of emotions began bubbling inside. He felt something inside him break and suddenly he couldn't speak for fear of choking on his own sob. His mother was dead and the one person he thought would be his rock was on her knees just as confused and lost as he was.

"I wanted to take your hand…" Rey said quietly surprising them both. "Ben's hand." she finished giving him one last longing look before bolting away off towards his ship. Ben's throat tightened when she said his true name. The name given to him by the father he murdered for power and by the mother who never stopped loving him no matter how many lives he stole. Rey was the last person alive who could call him that. And it was true, he realized. He could feel the soft memory of warmth from her light fluttering inside him, slowly devouring Kylo Ren. He stood then, his legs weak and shaking as if it were his first steps. The wrath of the ocean around him seemed mute as he walked to the edge his chest tightening as he watched her jet off into space. He made a self wish to himself that she had stayed and helped mend what felt like had just been shattered between them. Something inside worried that would be the last time they met, the last time he could feel her touch and see her honest face. All of these old emotions that had been so jailed were now coursing through his being and it seemed like self hatred and a sore heart were at the forefront. _Rey_ He called out to her only to be met with a wall of her resolve. He needed her. She was all he had left. He needed to not feel like the only soul on this planet-

"Hey kid."


End file.
